You didn’t get a post this morning. You got an empty space where your post should have been.
Sometimes, life gets in the way.
Best Laid Plans, and all that.
I am in The Red Tent. My Moon Palace. The Painters have arrived. Auntie Flo is in town. And all the other euphemisms you can think of. A weekend spent caring for my elderly and very frail in-laws followed a busy week, alongside a developing cold, has caught up with me, and now my period has arrived. And there is no juice left. Nothing spare. All I can do is lie here and contemplate. Try to withstand the OUGHTs and the SHOULDs that are crowding my brain right now, pointing their fingers in accusation because of all that is left undone.
Learning to stop is the hardest thing about my illness.
At primary school, our teachers utilised a very simple form of crowd control. On the first day, we were instructed about the first rule of school. If the teacher says ‘Stand Still and Listen,’ thats what you do. You stand where you are, don’t move. You open your ears and your mind, and wait for the next instuction. This was ostensibly about the need for safety, but it also meant that we learnt to pay attention.
Over the years, I have forgotten the importance of ‘Stand Still and Listen’.
Today I’ve been wondering whether ‘Stand Still and Listen’ is what my ME is here to teach me.
To listen to my body.
To listen for the pain.
To listen to my life.
To listen to the world and the people around me.
To be still, and know that I Am.
I will be gone soon enough. We all are, eventually. Better make the most of it while we are here. But that doesn’t mean a frenzied whirl of activity, filling every moment with busyness because we are afraid of death. It means savouring the moment, being mindful of NOW.
I am sure I have spoken on this theme many times on this blog, and I will do so, no doubt, over and over again in future. I struggle to learn this lesson every day. And yet, as a writer, I need to Stand Still and Listen even more than most other people. Because if I do not observe the world around me with quiet reverence, if I do not record it with compassion and objectivity in my mind and in my notebook, then how can I record it in my stories? How can I make my story worlds into believable places?
Whether you are a writer, an artist, or any other sort of creative, or whether you are someone who does not see themselves as such, take the time over the next week to practise Stand Still and Listen. Whether you actually physically stand still or not is up to you. But take a moment to be still and aware, a moment or a day or a week, or however long you need. Take stock. Be in the moment. I promise the world will grow and deepen for you when you do.
With love from the Red Tent,