I’m crabby. It’s been two days, and I’m not fit to know. This should not be happening. I’ve had a lovely holiday, nearly two weeks with the Husband at home, sunshine, dear friends and family visiting, trips to the beach and great food. Yesterday, even the Husband noticed I was out of sorts, which is saying something!
This morning I was fed up to the back teeth with myself. I really hate feeling like this. Stale. I sat down with my journal and worked it out. What is it that is making me so grumpy?
Turns out, it’s the very thing that should be making me happy. My holiday.
The critical mass of creativity has now built up to such an extent that I need to get back to work. Holidays are great, and important times for reflection and rest. Don’t get me wrong. But I’m ready to get back to it now.
What I’ve been saying all along is true. You need the Habit of Art.
Well, I need it, in any case.
I need to get back into my routine. I need the Husband to go back to work so I can have the house to myself. I need my thinking time, my moodling time, and I can’t have that with someone else in the house, no matter how much I love them (and I do), because my first reflex is always to consider them first, and put myself and my art second. Even inside my head. I find myself resenting the people I love, and my family and friendship commitments, if I don’t have this mental and creative space. My well has been filled, my Muse is ready to let rip, and I am bubbling with ideas. What I need is the time and space to get to it.
I need my routine back.
I can’t do this yet. I’ve a bunch of things to get through first. Lots of socialising with dear friends. There will be more trips to the beach, and strawberries to eat in the garden in the sun. My Muse can get as grumpy as she likes, but I can’t let her out just yet.
It’s not long now, though.
And it’s great to know, thanks to my journal, that it’s not the fact that I have run out of ideas that is making me a bad-tempered cow. My creative juices haven’t run stale. It’s just that there is no space right now to get the words or paint on the page. I must be patient. The time will come. I have had my rest, refilled the well, and now I am revving at the start of this new race!
And then, come the green light, and Hooray for the Habit of Art!
Happy creating and holidaying, whichever you are doing,
Just keep thinking about what Ms Muse will have for you once you finally let her free 🙂