Category Archives: Creativity

Friday Fanfic: Role Reversal

Sorry I am late posting today. Its been a very bad ME/CFS day, and I went back to bed as soon as I’d showered this morning because I felt so bad. Sometimes it happens. When it does, the only thing to do is to go with it. Frankly, though, I’m not surprised. I’ve been writing like a dervish all week, and was bound to run out of energy eventually. I need to work out how to manage my bursts of creativity better, but the trouble is that when you are in the middle of one, you just get carried away with the thrill and relief of finally being able to write!

That said, I’ve been giving ‘Three Weddings and an Explosion’ a bit of a poke today, and seeing what I can make of the dog ends of Part 2 which has been sitting on my hard disk for two years while my dear, loyal readers wait far more patiently than I deserve for the resolution of the cliffhanger to see the light. Soon, my pretties, soon…

Oh, and I’ve been playing on Twitter, where you can now find me as ‘evenlode27‘. Its very obvious to me that I could get addicted to Twitter very, very easily…

Kevin Whately and Laurence Fox in ITV’s ‘Lewis’

In the meantime, here is a juicy little omegaverse I was working on last weekend. I had originally thought it would make a good Quickfic, but its got huge, so I’m going to publish it in three daily chapters. Its very smutty. Don’t say you weren’t warned.

You can find Role Reversal here at AO3 and here at FF.net.

Do please comment if you can, I am so grateful for your feedback, and always encouraged by it.

Happy Creating,

Trying New Things

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Finished cupcakes

One of the best ways to kickstart your creativity is to try new things. Especially if those new things are far from your normal comfort zone, and especially if they involve play.

Yes, play.

Play is an essential part of creativity, and of our lives as human beings, but its something that is trained out of us as adults.

I am especially bad about this. I freely admit I have forgotten how to play. I never do anything that doesn’t in some way equal productivity. I’m not able to bring myself to undertake any activity that won’t result in some positive learning outcome or tangible deliverable object. Its so bloody worthy!

So when a friend suggested I join her at a cupcake decorating class, I jumped at the chance.

Okay, there were concrete deliverables involved – yummy pretty cupcakes were the result. But the point is that I have never done any kind of sugarcraft before, and I haven’t used an icing piping bag in what feels like centuries, so it seemed like a fun thing to try.

We made sugar paste flowers and polkadot wellies and glittery butterflies and plump little heart shapes out of icing. We learnt how to roll and knead and colour our sugar paste. And then we went mad with the piping bags and learnt to make icing grass, piped roses, ‘Mr Whippy’ toppings (which you probably won’t understand unless you are British and have eaten a ‘Mr Whippy’ ice cream!) and piped hydrangea flowers with edible pearls on them. So pretty!

In other words, we played. For over two hours. And it was brilliant. Even putting the cupcakes in a presentation box at the end was pretty and fun.

Cupcakes in their presentation boxes

I spent an entire evening, not using my left brain at all, and believe me, it was just the pick-up I needed. Since I tried this fun new activity, I haven’t made or decorated any cakes, and I’m not too bothered if I never do. But I’ve written lots and I’m excited about writing in a way I haven’t been for months. Total release.

So if you are stuck in a rut with your chosen creative path, whatever it is, why not try something new. Muck about. Have fun with friends. Do something with absolutely no emotional investment in it, and just enjoy it. The worst that will happen is that you go home with a tray of delicious cupcakes. And frankly, thats not really a bad outcome now, is it?

(NOTE: All the cupcakes and icing were gluten free. Recipes for the cupcakes and the butter icing came from the Hummingbird Bakery Cookbook, and the sugar paste was Sainsbury’s Fondant Icing.)

Happy Creating,

Easter 2014: The Pictures

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The Archangel Gabriel by Philip Jackson (2009), South Harting Church, Hampshire.

WARNING: PICTURE-HEAVY POST!

Eagle-eyed readers will have noticed that I have been absent for a week. Caring for Elderly relatives again, I’m afraid. It was a tough week, and I expected to come home utterly emptied out, but weirdly, because we managed to get out and about, and had a couple of days with friends in Sussex in the middle of it all, I somehow to managed to recharge my creative batteries. I’ve come home feeling more ready to write and make and decorate than I have in months. This is a HUGE relief.

I am here to tell you that despite everything, it is possible to feel and get creative.

So here are some pics and a little video of some of some highlights of a week spent between Hampshire, Sussex and Oxford.

Beautiful blossoms in the service station car park where we stoppped for lunch on our first journey.

Sunshine on the Hamble River.

Uppark House, National Trust, always a favourite visit for my mum, and such a beautiful building. Its hard to believe it was gutted in a fire a few years ago and has been fully restored.

A sofa carved from a whole tree trunk, found in an Arundel shop. looks comfy, doesn’t it?

Gorgeous Italian nougat at the Piazza Italia event in Horsham

Stunning sculpture of the Archangel Gabriel by Philip Jackson (2009) suspended before the North transept window of The Church of St Mary and St Gabriel, South Harting. Shades of Dr Who?

A quick peek at the kitchen garden of Hinton Ampner, also National Trust, where we stopped for a quick lunch on the way to Oxford.

I was going to upload some footage of the Parade of 100 Ferraris at Horsham’s Piazza Italia event, but the format is apparently unacceptable, so I’ll just have to tell you that the best part was the revving of those meaty engines!

Anyway, the point is that you have to get out to feed your muse. So this week, in the aftermath of a busy Easter, why not take half an hour to get out and walk around with your camera, and just look at what is around you.

Happy Creating,

Inspiration Monday: Gardens and Gardening

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Ickworth Garden Temple

(WARNING: photo-heavy post!)

You think gardening is for oldies, don’t you?

Not so.

Go and visit a big garden in your area, a park, a stately home if you have one nearby. As you wander round, take the time to look at the flowers, plants and trees. Take the time to appreciate the long vistas the designers have laid out for you to enjoy. Think about why each plant has been positioned exactly there in the scheme.

The garden house at Ickworth House, Suffolk

Who has walked this path before you? What is their story? Read ‘Lady Chatterley’s Lover’ if you can’t think of something better, or watch ‘Downton Abbey’ to clue you in to what might have happened in a garden like this, the secret assignations between the lady of the house and the gamekeeper, the Lord and the scullery maid, or the married gentry who came to visit for shooting weekends in winter, eager to continue their private affairs without their spouses knowing, stealing away into the shady nooks of the different garden ‘rooms’.

Inside the Yew Hedge at Blicking Hall, Norfolk – who might have hidden here?

As for public parks, well, imagine all the spies who have met their KGB handlers by the duck pond, the mothers who have pushed their prams through the rose beds and contemplated running away from loveless marriages, the children who have imagined faeries and elves in the trees.

If writing is not your thing, you only have to look at what Monet did with his garden at Giverny to see that gardens can be an endless source of inspiration for visual artists of all kinds. Maybe your garden flowers could inspire a colourful quilt or embroidery. There is so much beauty in your back garden and local park – all you need to do is use your eyes.

What about getting your fingers in the soil yourself? Gardening is a true art form. It allows you to create a complete world within the four hedges of your back yard. You might prefer growing vegetables to flowers, in which case, google ‘potager kitchen gardens’ to see how amazing kitchen gardens can be.

Roses in my own garden.

There is nothing like actually getting down to business with the mulch and seeds. Yes, it is often hard work, and it takes time and patience, but it is so incredibly rewarding, creative and satisfying. Even if you just have a tiny balcony or window ledge, you can fill it with pots of colourful bedding plants and grow-your-own lettuce varieties. Go to any Mediterranean village, and you’ll see what marvels of gardening can be achieved with a few old olive oil cans, some white and blue paint, and some bright geraniums!

And once the hard work is done, you can get out your deck chair, and muse. And then maybe paint a picture or write a story about your green empire.

Happy creating,

Journal Friday: Core Practices

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I’ve been experiencing something of a ‘Dark Night of the Soul’ lately, a deep, dark journey into the Underworld. Being creative has been a distant dream. The only space or energy available has just been for survival. That said, I’ve realised that there are three core practices that have helped, and continue to help me keep (relatively) sane.

Core practices are those habits you keep going, no matter what. Activities that keep your engine running even when there is no energy, space or time for anything else. You keep up these habits through the times of joy and abundance, and those of despair, desolation and drought. They help sustain you, and keep you in a state of awakened readiness for when the next shower of inspiration comes. They are part of the minimum requirements that you need to function as a happy, healthy human being. They are different for everybody, so yours might vary from mine, but they will give you the same comforting, nurturing continuity in your life.

I started thinking about this idea the other day, when I heard Jamie Ridler talking about them in her recent podcast. The core practices she sites are Movement, Meditation and Morning Pages. Morning Pages are a practice popularised by Julia Cameron in her book, The Artist’s Way, and I’ve written a little about them here. Cameron herself would probably site Morning Pages, Walking and the Artist Date as her core practices.

If I had to name mine, the three things that have kept me going in recent days against the tide of despair, I would say they are yoga, meditation and journalling.

Yoga helps me to keep grounded inside my body. Even when I am very ill and have little energy, a single pose can help. Yoga eases the chronic pain I live with, and gives me a sense of achievement. I like doing it outside in the garden in the summer, but usually my yoga mat gets spread out on my study floor. I light a candle, ask for a blessing on my practice, and do a few asanas. I also enjoy doing a few poses before bed at night, as this helps calm me from the day’s stresses, but also helps counteract the tension my body builds up during the night. If you fancy having a go, you might find this website helpful.

Meditation is something I am trying to do. I’ve been trying to do it for years. It occurs to me now that maybe thats the whole point. Even when you get good at it, you are still battling the butterfly nature of your mind as it dances about between the shopping list and the peerless beauty of Benedict Cumberbatch’s mouth, or something similar! Lately, I’ve had quite a bit of success with the Insight Timer app on my smartphone, and I also like Susan Piver’s free meditation instruction sessions – ten minutes out of your day for such huge benefits has to be worth a try. When I get it right, when I manage to concentrate on my breath even for just a tiny bit, I experience a sense of peace, achievement and oneness. I’ve tried Vipassana body awareness meditations by Jon Kabat-Zinn too, and they are really good.

Journalling. Do I really need to add much about this? I’ve been writing continually on this blog about journalling practise since I started a year ago, explaining the benefits and the pleasures of keeping a diary. I’ve been doing it for 40 years this year (erch! Is it really that long?), and I can tell you that it has saved my life more than once. Check out my other Journal Friday posts to find out more.

Journal Exercise:

Get out your journal and take a little time to ground yourself. Take a few breaths and be present within your body. Then think about your life. What are some of the things you do regularly that sustain you emotionally, physically, spiritually. Spend some time writing about them, about why they help you, why you do them, how they nourish you.

If you have trouble zeroing in on one, two or three things you do in this way, try thinking about your minimum requirements for a happy life. What do you go nuts without? When your life gets a bit haywire and you find you feel out of control, what are the things that have slipped? It might be anything from drinking enough water and eating fruit daily to spending time with friends and family, walking the dog or reading a good book. Make a list of the things that you know you need in your life to sustain your wellbeing.

As always, don’t get too draconian about either of these exercises. Remember these are not the things you think you OUGHT to be doing, or what your friends are doing, although they may be things you might like to try, but haven’t yet. Take time to explore. Be gentle and compassionate with yourself. And if you can’t identify anything yet, allow the answers to evolve over time. Gently ask them to come to you. Ask yourself what you need in your life right now, and enjoy your discoveries.

Happy Creating,

Inspiration Monday: Mad Thoughts!

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Do you ever have one of those moments when you wonder WTF is going on inside your head?

I try to keep mindful of the thoughts that go through my head, partly as a defense mechanism against depression and overdoing things, but also to a degree out of sheer amusement because some of the stuff I think can be deeply bizarre. For instance, here is yesterday’s offering:

“I don’t want her to think we’re the kind of people who don’t clean our bathroom mirrors.”

?????????????????

This raises so many questions about my sanity that I daren’t even go there.

BUT

What about using this as a creative writing prompt?

Who is the ‘her’ the speaker is so paranoid about? A demanding mother-in-law, for example, the boss who might have a promotion available, or a rich friend, perhaps. What sort of people don’t clean their bathroom mirrors anyway? What kind of people are the ‘we’ mentioned? Detach this sentence from me and my interiors paranoia for a minute, and think of all the possible short stories you could write using this moment of madness as a starting point.

There are so many little moments in life that could be writing prompts. That is why you keep your writing notebook with you, so that you can write down the moment your mother-in-law steps over your threshold and into your new home for the first time, and the first thing she does is look at the floor and say ‘I see you haven’t hoovered today’ (you moved in two days ago.) Just imagine all the thoughts that would come into your head then! Or when the hostess of a dinner party you attend dispells a painfully embarassing moment by announcing, without any preamble: ‘I like cheese.’ (What was going in inside her head?) Or when you catch yourself wondering what it would be like to eat daffodils (answer: don’t – they are poisonous. I looked it up.) Or even wondering what alpacas think about. What do alpacas think about anyway?

Your mind is a garden of unbridled surreality and whimsy. Don’t ever think you are short of prompts. Its all inside your head. All you have to do is watch what is going on.

Happy Creating,

Outflow: KBO

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Today I forgot to post.

I forgot to even think about posting.

It has only just occurred to me, at 9.40pm, and the thought followed hard on the heels of this realisation that this is what my life has been for the last three months.

I’m in survival mode.

I’m just keeping my head above water, just managing to stay afloat.

Sometimes that is how life is, and to be honest, maybe I needed this time of stillness and reflection. Not that I do much reflection when I am that ill because my ability to think is severely compromised. It is hard to think about creative plans, or plot bunnies, or even what the next meal is going to be, when you are so tired that you can’t read, write, watch telly or organise a series of logical actions because your brain can’t process.

I’m not saying this to engage your pity. I’m saying it to be honest, and because being honest is good. With myself and with you.

This is what the Creative Life looks like.

It is messy and inconsistent and spasmodic. Sometimes it is filled with elation, and at other times, disappointment. But it is what it is, and that is why we keep doing it.

I started this year with the word DARE. So far, as I think I have said before, DARE has become DAREing to keep going, stay alive, and do things I’ve never done before, like basic nursing activities. Nursing doesn’t usually come within the scope of my definition of creativity, but its definitely under the DARE heading! So I have extended my skillset, been creative in finding practical adjustments that help, and learnt a lot more about my limits.

Now I have to learn a bit of patience, which is not my greatest virtue.

I’m losing two weeks out of four from my creative cycle because of the time it takes to organise, undertake and recover from our caring visits to Husband’s elderly parents. I need to find a way to handle the gash this necessary commitment is cutting into my creative time, as well as how it affects me health-wise. I need to either find a way to drop in and out of my creative mindset more quickly and easily, or to accept that the ease of adjustment I crave simply is not going to happen, and be at peace with that. Whichever happens, I need to make the most of the time that I do have. Otherwise I am going to be very miserable, and be unable to meet the intentions I am hoping for this year.

Sometimes creativity means being realistic. It means learning to do different, in order to take account of how things really are. Because:

“Life is what happens when you are making other plans.”

(John Lennon)

Living a creative life is not always easy, but it is hugely rewarding.

I refuse to give up hope that I am going to achieve what I want to, that I am going to make some wonderful things and have some wonderful experiences. Life gets in the way. Shit happens. The only thing to do is to find a way to keep going. Or as Winston Churchill often put it, KBO (“Keep Buggering On”).

Happy Creating,

Clear the Decks

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If you listen to the elderly, you always find wisdom. One of the things I learnt this weekend was from my husband’s aunt, who was in her day a deeply respected midwife. (She delivered Roald Dahl’s children, as well as tennis player Tim Henman.) She is a very tidy person, and when I asked her about this, she told me that part of her nursing training emphasised the importance of starting with a clear surface at all times, whatever you were doing. So she tidies up after herself obsessively, even now, when she is so disabled that she can barely move.

I took this idea away with me. It occurred to me that one of the things I love most about going on a writers’ retreat is arriving in a room with an empty desk, uncluttered, a space to work. It inspires me hugely. Obviously, Auntie’s edict on clearing the decks is an excellent one. It’s not rocket science, either, to make space for your creativity.

But.

And this is a big but.

I went into my study this morning and this is what I saw.

The shelves as you come into the room. Total dump.

My study is the only place we can dry laundry in the winter months.

The current state of my desk, complete with pile of unopened post.

A bit not good, as Sherlock and John would say.

What does this space say about how I prioritise myself and my creativity? I think it shows how little I value myself and what I do. How can I do my best work in this mess?

I long for a clear space in which to work, but this is what I’ve got. No one but me is responsible for this chaos. Okay, yes, Husband tends to keep his study clear by dumping stuff in mine, but I let him do that. I allow these heaps of junk to build up, blocking the energy, my energy. And after all, who would want to work in this mess?

So I think it is time for another push on making my study work. I’ve done this before, as you know. But really, how much have I invested in that process? I always find an excuse. I’m always too tired to make it a priority, or too busy. I can always work downstairs on the sofa, and I usually do. But then I have to go running up and down to get what I need. Meanwhile, Husband has a lovely study that is a dedicated space for his business, which is tidy and organised, and which he loves.

If he can have it, so can I.

Its time to clear the decks.

Happy Creating,

Inspiration Monday: A Day Out

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The Scallop by Maggi Hambling, Aldeburgh, Suffolk.

Warning: This post has lots of pictures!

Its a lesson my mother taught me. After my father died when I was 13, she used to take me away. Just for the day. Somewhere. She would ring the school and say I was sick and we would run away somewhere. Salisbury. Portsmouth. Winchester. Even the Isle of Wight. Somewhere that was within a day’s drive. Anywhere that was not home, not full of memories and sadness. It recharged our batteries, gave us the time to talk about what we had lost, and grow closer. I have very fond memories of those stolen days.

Running away is a lesson that I have brought into my adult life. Now, when things get a bit much, when we need to recharge, escape, or just rememebr who we are, Husband and I run away. This weekend, we ran away to Aldeburgh in Suffolk, which is about an hour’s drive from home. It is the town famous for its links with composer Benjamin Britten, and the music festival he set up. It is also the seat of a number of literary festivals, and the setting for MR James’s haunting ghost story, ‘A Warning to the Curious’. Fishing vessels work from the shingle shore, and you can buy fish straight from the boats, as well as smoked from the new smokehouse. (I recommend their smoked prawns with garlic dip, eaten straight from the packet on the beach, yum!)

Fisherman’s shack where you can buy excellent fish caught fresh that morning, or crab, lobster and various local shellfish in season.

Since I am trying to get back into the swing of taking photographs again, I took my camera, and here are some of the results. I hope they get your creative juices flowing.

And if you are lacking in Inspiration this week, why not plan a day to run away and just be.

Fishing boats hauled up on the shingle shore. Is that the figure of Willam Ager running along the strand?

Dead seedheads by the coastal path.

Old fishing boat on the shingle in the mist.

The Scallop by Maggie Hambling, a local Suffolk-based artist.

The Scallop is a memorial to composer Benjamin Britten, who lived in Aldeburgh. The words are from his opera, Peter Grimes: ‘I hear those voices that will not be drowned.’ (Are these also the voices of creativity, calling us?)

Approached from the Thorpeness (north) side, the Scallop is said to look like a knight riding a charger.

Approached from the Thorpeness side, the Scallop is said to look like a knight riding a charger.

Utterly mad cow wallpaper found in The Crown Inn, Framlingham on the way home!

Happy Creating! EF

Journal Friday: Every Moment

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Every moment is a new opportunity.

Don’t think about all the books you haven’t written yet. All canvases you haven’t filled, the dances you haven’t danced, yet.

With every new breath, you have an opportunity to DO DIFFERENT.

Didn’t write your diary yesterday? Do it now.

Didn’t do your writing exercise or sketch. Do it now.

There will always be an excuse. Why listen to it?

Every moment is an opportunity to change what you do. Its a choice. Every waking moment. You can choose to keep on keeping on, doing the same old same old, thinking the same old thoughts, being a victim, blaming other people because you never made the time to learn the piano or whatever.

Or you can choose to live the life you want to live RIGHT NOW.

If the life you want to live involves living in a villa on a Greek island painting huge abstract canvases, (confession: this is my dream retirement) and maybe you can’t run away to the sun just now, well, just get some paper out of the photocopier and some coloured pencils or pens and make some colours on the page. Be the change you want to see.

evenlodesfriend

Speak Your Truth: Writing and Creativity

Category Archives: Creativity

Friday Fanfic: Role Reversal

Trying New Things

Easter 2014: The Pictures

Inspiration Monday: Gardens and Gardening

Journal Friday: Core Practices

Inspiration Monday: Mad Thoughts!

“I don’t want her to think we’re the kind of people who don’t clean our bathroom mirrors.”

Outflow: KBO

This is what the Creative Life looks like.

“Life is what happens when you are making other plans.”

Clear the Decks

Inspiration Monday: A Day Out

Journal Friday: Every Moment

You can be the person you always wanted to be RIGHT NOW.

You have a choice RIGHT NOW.

Be your own hero.

Choose now.

Make your choice and be it.